


Loosen Up

by dvapvc



Category: Blur (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Damon is a seductive ass dom, Drug Use, Heroin, Lots of the nasties, M/M, Mentions of Suicide Attempt, Porn With Plot, Public Bathroom, Sub graham, Suicidal Thoughts, Two boys hopelessley in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29461137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvapvc/pseuds/dvapvc
Summary: A drunken Graham finds himself trying heroin with Damon for the first timeSet in a bar in London, 1998
Relationships: Damon Albarn/Graham Coxon
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	Loosen Up

The heroin had worn off now, and Graham finally could grasp his senses a little better. He lay there, wide-eyed and short-breathed. Had he really just had sex with his best friend?

Graham had no idea that this regular-seeming night was about to become one of the most memorable night’s he’d ever experienced

It was a cold, winter London evening in 1998. The north-wester chills surged through Graham’s spine as he struggled to grasp his incompetent woolen jacket around his body. Goosebumps crept to his skin's surface and he shuddered, puffing out cigarette-smoke-like clouds. Graham monitored the concrete, carefully placing one foot after the other, being careful not to break the pattern. Distracting himself from the piercing cold, he lowly hummed a tune which he'd been working on, “One of many zeroes.. kicked around bored..”.  
Graham sighed, saddened in realisation. He guessed that was kind of how he felt right about now, bored, kicking a stray stone around the concrete like it was his own personal soccer game. 

Graham's nose twitched. “This place feels familiar” he thought, feet finally coming to a halt beneath him as he smelt the comforting and familiar aroma of cheap booze and cigarettes. It was enough for Graham to already feel himself itching for a drink. He craned his neck up, reading the blurred purple neon lettering through fogged-up glasses. “Villa Rosie”. Graham twitched. She was like Graham’s addiction; he couldn’t get enough of her. 

Graham took a deep breath and repeatedly told himself everything was going to be okay, eventually anxiously pushing the hard wooden door ajar, the feeling of cold sweaty oak his hands were so used to. Disorderly fumbling in, Graham relished in the warmth. With slow, calculated breaths, falling back, hitting his head on the aforementioned wood. Graham cherished the moment; It had been a while since he got to properly take a breather. “Just one second of peace is all I want”, he thought to himself. God. Graham really needed that drink. He pried open his eyes with reluctance and took a minute to observe the night’s atmosphere. The place was filled with crowds of 20-something year old men and women drinking, dancing and grinding on each other like there was no tomorrow. Graham shrugged; seemed like a usual Saturday night. Carefully scanning the bar he managed to catch a free, secluded seat at the bar table out of the corner of his eye. “What a catch” Graham breathed out to himself, evidently relieved. 

Adjusting himself in the leather cushion stool he sighed and tried to let himself loosen, promptly taking off his thick-rimmed glasses. Graham allowed himself to rest, letting his head collapse exhaustingly into his hands, thick black streaks of hair falling over his face. 

\--

Graham knocked back another hearty gulp, letting the slick, thick velvet-tasting booze seep down his throat and wash away all his problems, just like he’s always trusted it to. He must’ve been on his 3rd or 4th bottle now, but it was all a haze. His vision was slightly shaky, and his head was spinning, pounding, throbbing; flooded with thoughts and memories which made him dizzy, which made him want to puke. Graham was a very very introverted person, and he tended to keep things to himself; but, when all your emotions and feelings come flooding and crashing over you at once, it makes you.. overwhelmed to say the least. Suddenly, Graham started crying, and he doesn't even remember why. The tears came crashing down like a rough waterfall, physically unable to restrain himself to hold them back. They just kept flooding; waves of melancholy. Wave after wave, whimper after whimper. 

Graham almost jumped out of his skin as a strong sturdy hand invitingly placing itself on his shoulder. Caressing him ever so carefully as if he might shatter at any applied pressure. Graham snapped around at alarming speed ready to -in a drunken mess- yell at mysterious person. When suddenly he realised- 

“Damon?”

Graham and Damon’s relationship was.. complicated. Ever since the two were 13 years old and at that pretentious primary school they’ve been as close as two peas in a pod. In 1989, they got a stupid but thrilling idea that changed everything. They created a band originally called “Seymour” with friends Alex and Dave and later rebranded to “Blur”. At first, it was just for a bit of a laugh, but, well, let's just say they weren’t laughing anymore when it turned out to be an overwhelming success. Since the release of the band’s #1 best selling album “Parklife”, they’ve been incredibly well known in the UK, being labelled as celebrities amongst the Britpop era. Yes, although it sounds lovely to be a celebrity, fame can really fuck with a person.  
They haven’t been on such good terms recently, Graham and Damon. With Graham’s recent alcohol addiction which had boiled up hotter and hotter, like a kettle which had been left unaccompanied for too long. That’s a good way to put it actually. Graham had gotten like this because of his solidarity, no one looking after him, caring for him. That no one Graham was so desperate for, being Damon in particular. This might have actually been their first proper interaction in months, but that didn’t stop Damon from creeping into Graham’s mind every sad, lonely night.

“Graham?” Damon breathed out, a smirk tugging at his beautiful cherry lips. “What’re you doin’ here all alone mate? Should’ve asked me to come along with you!” He chuckled, showing a good-natured toothy grin before plopping down onto the empty stool next to Graham’s. Damon’s voice seemed to waver as he spoke, almost as if the sight of Graham drunk off his mind here alone made him achingly upset in a way. Graham just couldn’t tear his eyes off of Damon, he was like a sculpture, an angel; the way his dirty-blonde streaks of hair effortlessly fell over his face and the way his icy blue eyes seemed to shimmer in the low bar light. The picture which greeted Graham’s mind every night somehow was even more perfect in person. It made him uneasy, sick to the stomach. How dare he look so nice? It was so cruel.

Damon must've noticed Graham had dazed off in his own little world because he eventually cleared his throat. “Oh, yes, hi.. s-sorry..” Graham managed to stutter, face and throat sticky with tears. Damon glanced at Graham whilst arching an eyebrow, as if he thought he'd carry on. “Well…” Damon started, sensing the fact Graham didn’t want to continue, “I’ve been worried about you Gra, none of us ‘ave seen you recently.. and I do honestly miss you mate..”. He trailed off, pausing as if contemplating saying something or not. Graham glanced up at him, stomach lightly fluttering with thousands of intoxicated feelings as Damon stared woefully at him. “I want you to tell me what's going on”. The words rolled out of Damon’s mouth hesitantly, but he seemed confident with how they were delivered. He gave Graham a very firm look, like he wanted to be dead serious, oh so pretty blue eyes locking with Graham’s muddy brown ones. “Well..” Graham started, hesitantly, “It’s a bit too much I guess.. Day..” Graham held every piece of himself together to not cry, “The media, the fans.. the pressure.. and fucken.. fucken feelings..”. Graham couldn’t stop the words from rolling out of his mouth, the alcohol spoke for him. Damon, in full seriousness, glanced at Graham sympathetically, nodding slowly and unsurely as Graham spoke. “I’m here for you mate, you know that right?”. He cautiously re-applied a comforting hand on Graham’s shoulder, making sure not to make him uncomfortable. “I’ve always been here for you”. He was right, Graham did know this, but he just couldn’t help but distance himself from him. 

Damon had saved Graham’s life before. That dreaded cold night back in 1995 which Graham tried so hard to forget. Blur’s album “The Great Escape” had skyrocketed in charts. Their hit song “Country House” had taken victory over rival band Oasis’ “Roll With It”. Everyone was excited, frenzic, partying their hearts out... but.. Graham wasn’t so happy. Feet dangling off the ledge of a 6 storey building he bawled his eyes out, peeking down with teary eyes and blurred glasses to view traffic and commotion down 21 metres below. Graham kept telling himself to just get it over with, just do it already; he wasn’t made for this life. He just wanted the thoughts and the pressure and the anxiety and everything to just fucking go away. But, Damon always seemed to know where Graham was in his darkest times. It was like he had a radar in his head which went off every now and again when he sensed Graham might be in danger. Graham didn't remember much of the rest. It was all a blur as Damon carried Graham in his arms and he cried, and cried, and cried, holding onto Damon for dear life. Damon’s screams and his sticky, tear-coated voice muffled into the half-conscious state of Graham’s drunken overwhelmed self; he was like a hospital patient drifting off under a heavy dose of anesthesia. Graham couldn’t even remember what he had said that night, but he remembered being laid down on Damon’s bed and showered with hugs and words and sweet promises. Those sweet, sweet promises...  
Damon kissed Graham that day. It was most likely just a friendly reminder from Damon, but, to Graham, well, it was so much more. 

But, Graham couldn’t tell Damon about this problem, because well.. It was to do with him.

Graham quickly averted eye contact, deciding the floor was a good second option; he’d been staring into Damon’s eyes for a little too long. Wait. Oh shit. In a panicked realisation, Graham reached a hand up to touch his cheek. Fuck. He was really fucking red. So much so, that it practically burned to the touch, like a blazing hot iron. Graham lifted his gaze and Damon gave him an unsure smile, knowing Graham was probably overwhelmed and didn't want to share much more.  
“Hey mate..” Graham muttered, almost inaudibly through the blaring commotion which surrounded them, “It's a little crowded here, you mind if we go somewhere more... private?”. Damon’s mouth stretched into a knowing smile, chuckling quietly. “Course”  
Damon jumped off his stool and bowed mockingly at Graham, “Ladies first”. Graham rolled my eyes and lightly punched him, getting an overly exaggerated fake groan in return, hand on stomach and everything. Graham giggled to himself, he really fucken missed this guy. 

Leading the walk as requested, Graham led them through the doors into the eerily empty pub bathroom; the dim lights flickered and danced against every crevice of the off-white tiles.  
Before they knew it, Damon and Graham were suddenly face to face, the only light which illuminated them being the dull bathroom light. It was ominous yet comforting in a way. Graham shifted awkwardly and looked down at his stained black vans, musty laces further ruining themselves in puddles of mysterious bathroom floor liquid. Graham didn't know why he was suddenly so nervous around Damon, words usually flew out of his mouth without review when he was with him; both of them completely absorbed in each other's presence. Maybe the alcohol was fucking with his ability to stay reserved like he normally was. Suddenly, Damon spoke up, words long overdue in this situation, “Hey Gra, I have something I want to show you”. Damon grinned, a different sort of look in his eyes; Graham couldn't put a finger on what it was. Digging into his jean pocket, Damon finally pulled out what appeared to be a small white zip-locked bag no bigger than his palm. Graham’s eyes widened in realisation, where did he-?  
“You wanna try some?” Damon said slowly. Graham quickly realised he’d forgotten to speak. “Oh. well.. errrr.. yea..h.. yeah... I ‘suppose..” A long silence followed, looking like Damon wouldn’t take “I suppose” for a “yes”. Noticing this, Graham quickly tried to straighten his voice. “Why not?” He sputtered out, very clearly sounding unsure about the whole thing. Normally, he would’ve just said no, but alcohol makes you feel all kinds of adventurous. Damon noticed this. He could read Graham like a book; he knew exactly how Graham felt. “You deserve something to help you relax, you’re too tense”. He showed Graham a reassuring smile, “It’ll help you loosen up”. Graham sighed. Guess Damon was right, that's exactly what Graham needed, to loosen up. As much as the alcohol helped Graham settle himself down, it never really helped him properly loosen up, sometimes overwhelming him more. Graham looked up at him and showed a shy smile, letting Damon know that he wanted this. Damon didn’t like it when he knew Graham was anxious. 

\--

They sat cross-legged on the cold floor of the only spacious bathroom stall there was, feet sliding against each other from how close in proximity they were. Both of them had removed their jackets now, and they shuddered slightly at the cold tickle of wind. Damon smiled down at Graham, seeing as to how Graham started shaking, both from the cold and the nerve. The cold brown strap was tied near-painfully around Graham’s arm, some rubbish Graham didn’t really hear about how it’s important for not hitting the wrong vein. “You’ll be okay, I’m here. I’m right next to you”, Damon reassured Graham, “I’ll do it at the same time as you alright? Just hold the needle right there and I’ll count down”. Graham took a deep breath, sucking in the air just like he'd do to any old cigarette, swallowing up every last particle. He felt himself calm down; fresh air circulating throughout, refreshing, cleansing. All this thinking about breathing failed to focus Graham on the numbers which had been rolling out of Damon’s mouth. “One..” In panic, Graham pressed the needle down as far into his bloodstream as It could go.  
Suddenly, Graham couldn’t think. Pure bliss washed over him like a tidal wave, crashing down hard. The liquid serotonin pumped through his veins at jet speed; replacing the air which was once in its presence. Through pleasure-coated eyes Graham groggily looked up at Damon; whose head hung back and whose mouth was hung open in pure ecstasy, streaks of swear-coated dirty blonde hair tickling down his sweat trickled neck. Graham grinned widely, feeling instantly overcome with euphoria; heroin mixed with alcohol mixed with lust. Damon was almost as perfect as a renaissance painting, Graham thought, the way his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes clenched ever so tightly, a low groan rolling from his cherry-coated lips. Embarrassingly, these sensations went straight to Graham’s cock no matter how much he begged for his body to restrain them. Damon’s eyes fluttered open slowly, perfectly. A slightly mischievous manner seemed to take him over, causing his heavy head to drag forward.  
He almost instantly locked lost eyes with Graham’s. 

That’s when Graham noticed it. Damon’s eyes. They were slicked over with a clear pleasure-filled coating; it seemed to tell a thousand words, a thousand different stories. Was it ..lust? The drugs? Everything about Damon suddenly felt like a mystery, even though Graham had known everything about him his entire life.  
Bit by bit, Damon inched closer to Graham, crawling like a panther who’s just found his night’s dinner. Before Graham could fully comprehend what was going on, Damon’s head was mere inches away from his. In a surprised shock, Graham rushed to shuffle himself backwards, rotating his palms until he was pressed up against the cold wall tiles, trying to sink back into them impossibly further. A mischievous smile spread slowly across Damon’s lips at this, subconsciously. Damon ran his tongue over his plump lips and began to chew nervously after he did so. Damon's smile was so sudden it was as if something had clicked in Damon’s head. Damon crawled further on his hands and knees until his firm body had practically locked Graham into place, soft deliberate breaths tickled Graham’s ear and Graham gulped. Hard.  
“How’re you feeling.. Gra?” Damon muttered lowly, pulling back just enough to observe Graham’s scared yet confused face. Was this some sort of game? Some sort of trick? Was this Damon’s way of trying to see if Graham would react or not, getting some cheap laugh out of it and humiliating Graham if it did? These thoughts spun through Graham's head in a woozy, slightly drunk manner. Graham and Damon had never been this close physically before, no matter how much Graham secretly prayed for it every night; reaching down below the sheets as he thought of all the things Damon would do to him in his own little fantasy world.  
“Errr.. I... Damon..?” Graham muttered, visibly confused. Why was Damon doing this to him? "Damon’s straight and I’m his best friend", Graham told himself. Male best friend might he add. Damon smirked, fluttering his eyes seductively and leaning in till his nose brushed briefly against Graham’s. The way Damon’s eyes darted down to look Graham up and down was hungry, full of something. Containing the urge Graham had to rush up right then and force his lips on Damon’s perfect, full, cherry lips was painful, excruciating. Graham’s body, especially his cock, which was now pressing uncomfortably hard against his jeans, was in a state of complete torture. Graham noticed after a long excruciating silence, a silence which contained no added movement, that Damon was waiting. Waiting for him. Graham facepalmed himself mentally. Of course Damon wasn’t going to do anything, what was he thinking? Damon had never liked forcing Graham to do things he really didn’t want to do.  
Fire still burning bright inside, setting Graham’s stomach ablaze, he looked at Damon and nodded. A barely noticeable, light nod at that. But, that was all Damon needed. 

With no hesitation Damon rushed down and forcefully crashed his full lips against Graham’s faint nimble ones. It was rushed, sloppy, but fuck Graham wanted more- needed more. Damon stole the breath from Graham’s throat as he ate up the sounds Graham was subconsciously making. Poking his tongue between Graham’s lips to ask for permission, Graham, with no hesitation, let Damon in to explore every crevice inside he had to offer. Graham was desperate for this, had wanted this for so long and wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip away from his grasp. Instinctively, Graham threaded his fingers through Damon’s soft hair and tugged at the strands beneath his nape, pulling Damon impossibly closer. In retaliation, Damon ground his hips into Graham’s beneath him, moaning against Graham’s mouth as he felt Graham’s erection meet his. Damon continued grinding onto Graham, excitedly drinking up all the vulgar sounds which split from Graham’s mouth in reward. Pulling back slightly from the kiss, Damon looked at Graham’s state; Thick black locks of hair stuck to Graham’s forehead, furrowed eyebrows and desperate, begging brown eyes practically burned through Damon. Graham’s tilted glasses, which were now completely fogged, threatened to slip off the bridge of his nose and his shirt clung to the sweat which poured out of his skin. Graham looked like a complete disheveled mess, but it only turned Damon on further. He wasted no time rushing down and attacking Graham’s neck with his bruised, no-longer-cherry-coloured lips, sucking and biting against Graham’s vampire white skin. Graham groaned loudly, desperately wrapping his arms around Damon’s neck and gripping onto his sweat-stained shirt with trembling nimble fingers. The dim bathroom stall filled with the echoes of two panting, moaning, desperate boys; both so terrifyingly lost in each other. 

Suddenly, Damon pulled back and stared into Graham’s eyes, leaving Graham sad and confused, desperately trying to reach up to steal a kiss again. Under the layer of lust, Graham could see there was a pool of love which boiled within Damon, subtly, but it was there.  
“Graham?” Damon breathed out, looking completely serious as to whatever he would say next. “Yeah?” Graham asked confused, using the silence to try grasp onto the fact that what was happening was real. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Damon declared in awe, watching Graham’s dishevelled state increase as he flushed deep red and scrambled to cover his face with his fingers. “I’ve always thought that about you, Gra, but now I'm finally saying it out loud it feels like I’ve had a weight lifted off of me.” Damon smiled wholeheartedly seeing how greatly his words affected Graham, who was now a blushing smiling mess. “Day..” Graham started, “Just shut up and kiss me already.. please..”. Graham mentally cringed at how desperate his words sounded, but all his self-loathing seemed to vanish into dust as Damon quickly caught his lips between his own and started them off right where they left off. Feeling braver than before, Damon trailed curious hands down to the waistband of Graham’s jeans, sliding his hand under the hem of Graham’s loose black shirt and stroking his beautifully soft skin. Subconsciously, Graham let out a low groan against Damon’s lips in reaction to the sensation which was so new to him. Don’t get him wrong, Graham had been in bed with many girls before, but absolutely nothing could compare to the firm yet hard touch of a man, more specifically, his best friend. Damon took Graham’s reaction as permission to venture further, slipping his hand carefully under Graham’s jeans and palming at his erection which was already throbbing hard, desperate to be freed from the thin fabric which restrained it. Graham broke the kiss and craned his neck back against the wall, breathless and whining for more. Damon hooked a finger under the fabric and began to pull down, letting Graham’s erection excitedly spring out to meet his palm. Damon started stroking Graham gently, letting his fingers slowly glide up and down Graham’s length. These sensations caused Graham to whine out, arching his back while he did so. “Damon.. fuck..” Graham panted, “Fuck.. please..”. He could barely hold himself together as Damon sped up, causing his voice to waver and shake and tremble. If Damon didn’t stop soon, Graham would definitely come prematurely, now that would be embarrassing. “Damon..” Graham trembled. “Yes.. Graham?” Damon spoke out, voice low and sexual, peering up at Graham through thick lashes with lust-filled eyes. The sight of that was enough to make Graham come on the spot. “Please.. Damon please..”, Damon slowed down, hoping it would cause Graham’s desperation to speak for him.  
“Damon.. please fuck me already.”  
Damon stopped completely. Fire burned bright inside his eyes. Although the loss of contact upset Graham, he knew it would be worth it. Without saying anything, Damon began to pull Graham’s loose jeans and boxers off his legs, rushing to do the same with his own. Damon gazed into Graham’s pleading eyes and brought his fingers up to brush against the entrance to Graham’s lips. Graham parted them with pleasure, allowing Damon’s fingers to push inside his wet mouth, tongue doing circles expertly around Damon’s fingers. The sight of Graham sucking his fingers with sexual, begging eyes made Damon unable to restrain from touching himself; his erection was already rock hard and leaking with pre-cum. In one swift movement, Damon removed his fingers from the soft lips and reached down to brush against Graham’s tight pink hole. Graham breathed out deeply, clenching his eyes closed and reminding himself that this was Damon, he was going to be okay. Soon, after long anticipation, Damon’s voice wavered throughout the stall. “Graham. Look at me”, Graham fluttered his eyes open slowly, “Everything will be okay,” Damon reassured, “it’ll hurt a little at first, but you’ll adjust in no time. Okay?”. Damon knew Graham had never done anything like this before, don’t ask how, he just seemed to know everything about him. Graham re-clenched his eyes and nodded rapidly, letting Damon know he was ready. Slowly, Damon pushed his index finger up inside Graham, wiggling around and opening Graham up slowly. When Damon had said earlier that the heroin would “Loosen Graham up” this is not what Graham expected at all. He winced, the newfound sensation was not good at all. Damon brought up a second finger and began searching inside Graham, causing Graham to whine in a pained manner. Damon reached down and lovingly kissed Graham on the lips, soothing him through the pain. As Graham threaded his slim guitarist fingers through Damon’s hair, Damon prodded against a spot inside which made Graham cry out in pleasure against Damon’s lips, a burst of complete ecstasy pulsating through him. Pleased with himself, Damon uttered “found it'' while lightly chuckling, taking this as a sign to up the pace. With calculated fingers, Damon repeatedly stroked against the spot with every prod of his fingers, causing Graham to writhe against Damon and moan loudly; no filter being bothered to be implemented. “Damon.. f-fuck..” Graham gripped onto the wall behind him, sweaty and breathing loudly,  
“Please.. just fuck me already.. I can’t take it”.  
Graham couldn’t care less anymore about how desperate he sounded, all he could picture was the feeling of Damon inside his tight body. He guessed Damon was right, he was loosening up. Slowly, but surely.

Damon wasted no time hooking his arms around Graham’s slim figure, gently moving him from being cramped up against the stall’s wall and instead laying him down carefully on the floor’s cold tiles. Graham hit the ground beautifully, and Damon couldn’t resist pulling off Graham’s shirt to look at all of him properly. Immediately, Damon froze. Wide eyed, he began to stroke light trails across Graham’s pale stomach, exploring every crevice of the new beautiful exposed skin. Graham was like a piece of art, no picture Graham painted could even compare to how gorgeous his own figure was. Graham flushed, suddenly feeling embarrassed to be showing this much skin to someone so intimately, and by how much Damon was completely absorbed in it. Quickly remembering what he was supposed to be doing, Damon snapped out of his trance and began to lube himself up; spitting into his palm and stroking his length lazily. 

Positioned at Graham’s entrance, Damon glanced up to see Graham spreading his legs and nodding in complete desperation. God he was so cute, Damon thought lovingly.  
Damon began pushing into him agonizingly slowly and Graham winced. “Damon.. that hurts..” he grimaced, gripping onto Damon's shoulders; Graham hadn’t expected something THAT much bigger than Damon’s fingers to be going inside him. “Shhh.. shh baby.. You’re okay, you just need to loosen up a little”. There it was again, the words “Loosen up” coming out of Damon’s mouth; Graham wasn’t sure how much more he could possibly loosen himself, mentally and physically. Starting out nice and slow, Damon adjusted himself inside Graham. Gentle, careful thrusts cautiously penetrated Graham’s tight hole; he could feel Graham tightening around him in nerve. After a while of searching inside him, Graham finally cried out. Loud. His piercing cry echoed off of every surface of the cramped space they lay in. The pain had almost fully gone, and was instead replaced with a surge of bliss amplified even further with something bigger prodding it. Damon grinned his signature toothy grin down at Graham below him, whose legs were spread beautifully and whose arms were placed subconsciously above his head. In this moment, Graham looked prettier than anyone Damon had seen in his whole life. 

Graham began to cry and moan out beautifully, Damon hitting his prostate with every increased thrust. It was the prettiest song Damon had ever heard, he would gladly listen to that desperate, pleading noise all day. Just the sight made Damon the most turned on he’d been all night, rushing to grab Graham’s wrists and pin them above his head, smashing Graham’s lips against his own once again. Graham began to shake and tremble, feeling like he was on cloud nine. Damon pulled away to lean down into Graham’s ear seductively.  
“Graham.. You feel so fucking good.. fuck-” Damon moaned out mid sentence, “So tight.. and all for me..”. Graham looked straight into his eyes, smiling shyly and flushed red from embarrassment. Graham was not used to being praised at all. “Damon..” Graham started, on the verge of tears, “I w..want you to f-fuck me..” he gulped, “harder..” “..until I can't walk tomorrow..”. Damon’s heart danced all the while the flaming pit in his stomach burned impossibly hotter. Graham was so fucking cute even while he was getting absolutely railed, Damon thought to himself. Following Graham’s orders, Damon picked up the pace, digging his fingers down hard into Graham’s thighs as he dragged Graham closer to him. Graham instinctively wrapped his legs around Damon, guiding him to venture even deeper. Thrust after thrust, Graham started to cry in pleasure, overwhelmed on his drunken, high, senses. For Graham, who was both tipsy on booze and slightly high off of heroin, to be getting railed this hard AND for his first time, this was like an acid trip of an overwhelming experience. Suddenly, Graham’s eyes flashed white, seeing stars. He came in spurts of thick white liquid all over the two of them, the sticky mess settling on his stomach. Damon followed almost immediately afterward, moaning loudly as he pushed into Graham as deep as he could go, filling him up beautifully with his seed.

Damon collapsed on top of Graham, exhausted, as they lay in the afterglow. The two of them panting breathlessly. The heroin had worn off now, and Graham finally could grasp his senses a little better. He lay there, wide-eyed and short-breathed. Had he really just had sex with his best friend? In a pub bathroom? The whirring thoughts made him panic, breath shortening and chest heaving. Although the first effect of the herion was great, it all came crashing down on Graham afterwards, with an unbearable feeling of guilt and realisation. Damon was quick to respond with a gentle kiss to Graham’s forehead while holding his thin trembling frame tight, and Graham almost instantly started to feel himself relax. 

“Graham?” Damon muttered, voice groggy and raspy. “Yes.. Day?” Graham replied quietly, hoping Damon wouldn’t ask him questions about it. 

“I love you”

Graham froze. He suddenly felt his quivering lips twitch up into the stupidest, biggest, most excited, child-like smile. 

“I love you too, Damon”

Damon pulled Graham into the tightest hug and looked right into his eyes. They both started giggling uncontrollably just like they were schoolboys again. The days they would tackle each other down on the front field and laugh whenever one managed to pin the other down. That's when Graham first felt the spark with Damon, as they lay on the field staring into each other's eyes on that warm blazing summer of 1979, too young to know the difference between love and friendship. Now, nearly 20 years later, they laid in that same position, with the same love, the same lovestruck look in each other's eyes. The two boys were so absorbed in each other they’d simply just forgotten about the fact they were in a public bathroom. Instantly, they were snapped out of their trance by a heavy knock on the stall door. “Hurry up! I want to take a piss for fuck’s sake!” the man’s voice boomed. Bursting into laughter, Damon and Graham scrambled to put on their garments which had been tossed in all directions, fleeting out of the stall clumsily, hand in hand, Ignoring the confused look of the waiting man. They hurried out of the pub together, too happy and carefree to properly be bothered by the chills the London night had to offer. 

The neon bright ‘Villa Rosie” sign didn’t seem to bother Graham in the moment, nor did the cold, nor did his steps on the concrete beneath him. For this moment, Graham was entirely loose. Damon had loosened him up, completely, just like he promised he would. Nothing mattered in this moment except for Damon and him, dancing around the streets of London giggling as the sun set in the distance. It wasn't the drugs that made Graham feel this way, it was the overwhelimg feeling of joy from finally getting to spend this time he's always wanted to with his best friend. Soulmate. Hopefully soon-to-be lover. Graham didn't need the drugs, he didnt need the alcohol, he needed Damon. Damon could give him something the others couldnt, long term happiness. He knew the night's euphoria would probably wear off by the morning, but as long as Damon was by his side again, and to stay, he would be sorted. Forever.


End file.
